Any witchy pregnancy tricks out there?

Because, dear readers, I have been trying to conceive. 

Like, forevah. 

Sigh. 

How long, you ask? 

Well, as of this writing, it has been a remarkable 18 months of SHIT. 

I’m telling you. This is my diary, and it’s online, and it’s what I’ve been going through. 

I started off easy. Just read on the internet – oh, 28 days is normal? You don’t say? So I counted 14 days on the calendar and then we did it. Easy, right? NO. About halfway through I tried the temperature thing, didn’t help either. All this time I’ve changed drs to one in my town, who jocularly pats me on my ass (it’s a man, FIRST MISTAKE) and says, no worries, you’ll do it! 

f*cker. 

So then, I hear about these ovulation test things, right? So we try those (very cool things, btw, if you’re attempting. They haven’t worked for us yet, but they’ll help?) We couldn’t figure out then WHEN exactly we should do it (and when you tell your husband “no manual foreplay – IF you know what I’m saying – and it’s bursting his balls to wait LITERALLY – and I could hear the whines from where I stood) that was a bit of a mess. He also works somewhere else so getting there is a feat of logistics. STILL NOTHING. 

Next thing was changing back to my doctor in the other town where I lived for so long. I LOVE her. She is funny, and older, and is 100% committed to me getting a kid. I believe that with all my heart. So we’ve done lots of tests, and funny? First thing SHE figured out was that the lining inside was ‘not optimal’. I had ‘too much testosterone’. So first set of pills. It took a couple months to get that optimal and now I have a lining “like a forest”.

How about that  as a mental image.

And now too, as of 1 month, I have had Clomid. only 50 mgs, and only 1 a day. 

We aren’t happy with that (although I was not happy with the side effect – hello, burning sensation when peeing!) so we’re bumping it up to 100 mg. 1 morning, 1 night. Along with bumping the metformin up to 3 times a day. 

So what I’m asking, is: ANYBODY GOT ANY TRICKS, MAN!??

So far I’m wearing silver, moonstones and rose quartz, along with an icon of Freya, I have been told to have a positive outlook on it (she told me sternly that positive outlook is KEY) and … what else. I dunno. 

So, universe. ANYBODY GOT ANY TRICKS?

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